Barack Obama insists that what he lacks in experience he makes up in vision and eloquence. He promises to bring young blood to American politics, and to bring American politics back to the American people. On paper, it all sounds good. But, as Americans across the nation are coming to realize, something is not quite right. It’s hard to put a finger on it, but something is missing.

Let’s see… He is tall; I also. He is brownish; I also. He is skinny; I also. He has a funny name; I also. Overall, good man.

But one big problem: He looks terrible in a turban. Like a walking roll of toilet paper. Only without the useful purpose.

This is a serious weakness. Listen to me, America! There are many occasions when one is required to look great in a turban. Think of the following situation:

It’s 3am in America, and the children are sleeping. The phone is ringing. It’s your great-uncle Chintamani-bhai calling. His son is getting married. There is no time! You are to be honored as a special guest. You must tie your turban, get on a plane, drink a bottle of Black Label, and dance in the wedding procession!

When this time comes America (and believe me, if you know Chintamani like I do, it will), Barack Obama will fail us. Amitabh, on the other hand, will be there. And, he will look pimp.