Just a year ago, John McCain was all but eliminated from the Republican Presidential nomination before the contest even began. His own party branded him as too old, too liberal, too stiff. But after one year, and handful of senility diagnoses, the Republican party has given him their nod of approval.

Amitabh Bachchan stands firm in reminding America that over the last several months, the “straight talk express” hasn’t gotten any younger, any less pinko, or any more inclined to break out into hatha yoga poses.

John McCain is a 157 year old Republican Senator. Although he has never beat up 30 gundas while drunk and with only one good arm, he is still considered an American war hero. They say he is a bit of a maverick, a tough candidate.

I say, HA! Tough candidate? I am not scared of you, John McCain! You have obviously never seen Don. Or Sholay. Or even K3G. And if you have seen them, trust me McPain, I am scarier without the subtitles.

Okay, I will tell you. One thing does scare me. What does John McCain have in his mouth? I am afraid he is going to spit on me! Have you seen it? It’s like he swallowed a bird. What is it, McCain? Tell America, what is in your mouth? The people want to know. Is it candy? Did you steal America’s candy, McCain? Why did you take the candy? The candy belongs to the children, Mr. McCain.